My mental models
Life is too complex to be managed without a framework for making decisions. It’s important to have some sort of checklist, based on criteria that were defined as relevant by either own experience or learned experience.
However, a checklist cannot dictate how decisions one makes because if it was so simple, we could just have a system to make the decisions for us. Instead, you want to have a blend in which your emotions and intuition guide the final decision to be made, especially in high stake situations.
For day to day decisions, the checklist is a great framework to help eliminate wasteful time on things that don’t really matter that much.
Below is a non-exhaustive list of frameworks I’ve develop to help guide my decision making. Always under construction…
I guide my actions and decisions based on my goals and values. Every year or so, I re-assess all the learnings that I had in the previous period and try to incorporate those into my values and goals.
Have empathy for others and believe that they have good intentions, always. I have changed a lot throughout my life and I always give the benefit of the doubt for the other’s intentions.
Don’t be afraid of being disliked. Everybody is in this race trying to get something for themselves. If you don’t ask and fight for what you want, you won’t get it - and most importantly: to make an omelet, you need to break some eggs.
Give space between action and reaction. I tend to be very emotional in my reactions and sometimes that helps, but on the majority of occasions this shows immaturity and loss of power. In general, things move really slowly in life and there are only very few rare instances in life where you would have a high stake situation where an emotional reaction would be beneficial.
The focus between motherhood and other projects (career, personal development, fitness, social life) is a fluid balance. Like any other thing that is really meaningful and hard in life, you have to do the basics and the discipline of showing up needs to be there. However, only moms know when they are dedicating too much of themselves to other projects and will feel the ‘guilt’ of not parenting enough. I believe that this guilt comes as the intuition that we should be doing more. Maybe it’s God whispering that is time to let go.
For a successful career, you need to navigate the forest and the trees, but you need to always start with the most important question: why? Why is this report relevant? Why is this process needed? When you start with why, you create the clarity that is very much needed to prioritize energy.
Energy is finite. And you have to allocate the best energy to the most impactful things that need to be done. Pareto principle is real. Consistency over intensity. Over and over again.
Starting the workday is really hard when you don’t work from an office. Do the hardest thing in the morning and do it fast. Don’t distract yourself with information overload, analysis paralysis and wandering around watching people. Sometimes that’s easier to be done from a coffee shop, sometimes that’s easier done at 5am on the kitchen top by yourself. Navigate these setups but regardless start with focus.
Finishing the work day with the main things that you would like to have completed on the previous day is probably one of the highest productive activities you can do. Whenever I worked my best, that is what I used to do.
For a successful career, people need to know what you are doing and the value that you are bringing. This is career 1x1. Businesses do that. Why wouldn’t people do that? Remember: people are busy with their own life and interests, so you need to keep on reminding them of why you are relevant and what is the value that you bring to them.
Have goals in your company. Agree them with your main stakeholders: boss, investors, peers. Communicate them to everyone that needs to hear it and keep on guiding your decisions - and hopefully for the rest of the team - based on these goals. You cannot control the single outcome of the processes and work that is being done by a scaling company, but having them aligned with where you want to go is probably the best way to achieve things in a coordinated way. This also helps to justify your decisions whenever being held accountable for them.
As an ambitious person, you will feel overwhelmed. Don’t react to it. Dive deep into your emotion and try to use the stress as a guidance for focus. Canalize this energy on getting the most important things done fast. Stress is a great ally for focus and prioritization. Have a list of all the projects you are working on (including personal ones) and rank them in terms of priority for the day. If there is new information arising, list it down and keep it on your ‘watch list’ to be addressed at a later moment. If the message is really important or changes the direction of priorities, address it immediately and re-assess your focus for the day.
Best way to manage is to delegate tasks to each team member, align on deadlines for delivery and check on progress constantly. This is more art than science, so you will still have to feel how each team member is reacting to your level of assertiveness. Sometimes you will have to let them loosen up a little bit more and sometimes you will have to keep them really tight. Feel it.
Impressions matter. Master your communication. Embrace your personality and use it as a powerful way to differentiate. Learn how to say the most important things that your audience wants to hear first. This will also involve how you look and the energy you bring to the discussion. Embrace being a woman and use it as a tool to open doors.
Believe in karma and always do the right thing. I’ve doubt myself for not ‘claiming’ for my value and if I should be trying to take advantage of opportunities but when stuck between not helping someone because you don’t know how to extract value out of the transaction and helping someone with something that will take very little effort on your side, just go with the latter. The universe has its own way of paying it back.
Intentionality is key. The majority of our life is spent ‘wasting’ time. If the 80/20 principle is valid, we will necessarily be spending 80% of our time on things that will take us nowhere. To have a meaningful life, it’s essential to understand why we are doing whatever we are doing at any given moment. Otherwise you will just get busy and every day will just compound into the emptiness of a mere existence, without real meaningful experience.
Don’t feel overwhelmed and paralyzed when you are coming closer to an important event. I have the tendency of feeling and acting ‘stuck’ ahead of defining meetings, presentations, key calls. It’s hard work, yes, but being prepared for the big game is the most important thing you can do. All the work that is done around these crucial moments is probably auxiliary. These key moments matter. Be prepared.
